All You Need is Love? Valentine’s Day for Cheap

Across the county, wallets everywhere are weeping.
Photo by zirconicusso

Here it is, that special time of year when you can’t turn on the TV without a massive guilt-trip and a plea to buy shiny little chunks of stone that will set you back about a week’s salary.  Oh, yes, it’s Valentine’s Day.

I know, I know.  It’s a made-up Hallmark holiday designed to sell cards, flowers, cutesy stuffed animals, and jewelry, blah, blah, blah.  I’m not going to get involved in that argument, and I’m not going to write a dissertation on the origins of Valentine’s Day.  Let’s just leave it at this – it’s part of our cultural, you’ve been hearing about practically since Christmas, and really, what’s wrong with taking a day to shower your loved one with (more than your usual) love and affection?  I can get behind that.

The thing is, there’s a lot of pressure to spend a small fortune just to let someone you know you care.  Not necessary.  Gavin and I brainstormed a few ideas for cheap ways to celebrate each other (not the day, each other), and we thought we’d share a few of those with you:

•  Do you really need flowers?  Nurseries tend to hike up their prices right before the big day, knowing that plenty of poor schmucks will have few options but to pay their exorbitant prices.  Living in the Northwest, you can’t exactly go raid someone’s garden for some nice flowers this time of year (although I am hearing reports of early daffodils…).  If you can’t afford to spend a bundle on the holiday, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to forgo flowers. 
• What about jewelry?  Okay, I’m just not even going to go there.  Forget the jewelry.  Let’s be realistic, please.
• Cards are nice, but spending $5 on a piece of paper with a sweet little sentiment on it seems an easy way out, but really, you could do plenty more with that five bucks. 

So what should we do? 

•  Fix a nice meal for your sweetie.  It doesn’t have to be fancy or involve tenderloin.  Try out our chicken and potatoes recipe for a meal that looks pretty and tastes great but doesn’t cost a fortune.  Light candles, use the “nice” dishes, tablecloth and napkins.
• Plan an inexpensive date night.  If you have kids, put in a movie and pop some popcorn after they go to bed.  Let that old “Valentine’s Day Magic” do its thing.
• Pick a day after Valentine’s Day.  All the prices will have gone back down and you stand a chance of getting a good deal if you are able to splurge a little on a night out.
• Take some time during the day (if you are both lucky enough to have it off) and just go for a walk in a nice location, if the weather permits. 
• Set a small budget for each of you (maybe $5) and get each other a surprise.  Cards are off-limits!  Be creative.

What inexpensive ways do you find to spoil your sweetie during February?

Do You Believe in Magic?

I do.

Look around you.  The stories are everywhere.  People doing wonderful things for strangers, spreading kindness, love and joy all around.  The stories about people paying off other people’s layaways at Kmart are particularly striking.  Can you imagine being one of those people who received such a generous gift from someone you didn’t even know?  The idea brings tears to my eyes.  I would love to be on the other end as well, knowing that I’m making someone so happy and making a Christmas happen that might not otherwise.

Just this past month, our family has been on the receiving end of several gifts and kindnesses from loved ones.  Friends and family have reached out in ways I never would have imagined.  You’ve heard about the Shop with a Cop program the kids got to participate in.  Just two days ago, two of my friends turned up on my doorstep with about two weeks’ worth of groceries, gifts for the kids, and much more.  Gavin’s mom received a special bonus at her work and decided to share her good fortune with her kids.  All of these things couldn’t have happened at a better time. 

While grocery shopping the other night, we made our own effort to pay it forward.  We purchased a gift for the toy drive at Fred Meyer.  I hope our small gift will make a child happy.  It's not a lot, but it's something.

On a forum I belong to, a discussion has been ensuing about whether or not to tell a 10-year-old “the truth” about Santa.  Here was my response:

Santa is analogous with magic. If he (Elias) believes in Santa, he believes in magic. I love that. I think we SHOULD believe in magic. I believe that magic happens. How many times have I been saved from the brink of disaster? Magic happens. It doesn't always happen, and it doesn't happen in the manner you might expect, but it does happen. And it doesn't matter what name you choose to call it: magic, karma, answered prayers... whatever. It HAPPENS. I want him to believe that good things happen when you least expect them. And that includes Santa. Take away that belief and all you have left is sad cynicism, which is no way to live.

It's been a rough year. But somehow, Christmas has managed to come together. We have some gifts for the kids, the family really came through, and the kids even got to participate in a special event "Shop with a Cop." It came together like magic. 

I don't know whether he believes in a literal man who is going to climb down the chimney on Christmas Eve (we are 2nd floor in an apt building, I can't imagine the logistics on that one), but he is more than happy to play along with it and he encourages his 3-year-old sister, and that makes me happy. 

I see no reason to tell him otherwise. Because I believe in Santa too.

Do you believe?
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

The Problem of Tipping at Christmas

Are you really obligated to gift everyone who has provided
you with a service this year?
image by digitalart

There’s a certain expectation around Christmas-time that pretty much every single person you had contact with throughout the year needs some sort of tip or acknowledgement.  As lovely as that sounds, for those of us who can barely afford to get gifts for our own families, it can put us in a real bind.

Blog posts and tipping guides abound this time of year, with advice on how to tip everyone from teachers to the person who delivers your mail (who I don’t think I’ve ever met, by the way).  One site that claims to be about frugal living offered tipping advice for nannies, personal trainers and house cleaners.  Clearly their idea of “frugality” is a tad bit different than mine. 

So what am I supposed to do?  When the latest tipping advice suggests $15 to $20 gift cards for teachers, child care workers, and so many others, where does that leave me?  My son is in middle school – he has six teachers every day, and that doesn’t even include the therapists and other professionals who I think deserve tips more than the teachers.  At 20 bucks a pop, that’s $120 right there, over half of this year’s Christmas budget.  I can’t afford to get gifts for my friends this year – it seems unfair to be obligated to gift these other people.

What are the consequences if I don’t tip?  Is each teacher keeping a list and checking it twice, marking off the kids who brought in a gift card and pledging as a New Year’s Resolution to be much kinder to those kids for the second half of the school year?  Will my mail carrier start spitting on my mail if I don’t leave a Starbucks gift card for him in my mailbox next week? 

If you have the means to tip and you really feel like saying “Thank you” to someone who has done an exceptional service for you this year, by all means, knock yourself out.  But if your budget is already strained to the limit and you are only tipping because of a feeling of societal pressure, maybe you should rethink the reasons behind your tipping. 

There’s plenty of ways  to say thank you and acknowledge gratitude without buying gift cards or giving cash.  A nice homemade treat, especially one that your child helped make, is a great way to say thank you.  Better yet – call up the person on the phone and say the words “thank you.”  I bet they’ll actually appreciate that even more than the gift card.  

Shop with a Cop

Officer Todd and the kids.

Thanks to the kindness of friends, the kids got a really special treat yesterday.  Shop with a Cop is a nationwide program to help lower income families get through the holidays.  The kids get to take a trip through a local Walmart with a local police officer and choose toys for themselves, up to $50. 

I had never heard of this program, then I received word from a friend that they had nominated me and my family had been chosen to participate. Since one of my friends is married to a cop who was participating in the event, we thought it would be pretty neat if the kids got to shop with him.  It didn’t work out that way, but it was still a special experience for everyone. 

We arrived at 8:45 a.m., per my friend’s suggestion.  My sister came with us (and all the photos are courtesy of her) and when we pulled in to the parking lot, we started laughing.  “Can you imagine being a shoplifter?” my sister asked.  The parking lot was wall-to-wall cop cars.  It was pretty impressive.  Cops from every nearby city and district were represented.  We saw Burien cops, Seatac cops, King County Sheriffs… 

When we approached the door, we were guided to the line.  Which wrapped along one side and the back of the store.  While the line was somewhat intimidating, I couldn’t help but think how many donations and how much kindness of others this represented.  What a wonderful thing, that so many families would be helped! 

The line moved quickly, and soon we were matched up with our cop, Officer Todd.  In the line, I had decided that Elias could ask for a video game, since that’s what he really wanted, but I told him that if they asked, mention that it had been a gift from his aunt.  As soon as we met Officer Todd, Elias walked right up to him and said “My mom said I could get a video game, but to let you know my aunt gave me my DS.”  If there’d been a hole in the floor, I would have gladly jumped right in.  Officer Todd grinned.  “He speaks his mind, doesn’t he?” he said.

Elias gets the game he's been dying for.

 Elias promptly picked out DragonQuest Monsters, a game for his DS that he has been begging for since August.  Maddie was a little more challenging.  She eventually found a little rabbit that comes with a dressing trailer (huh?), a pony that came in a purse, and a Magnadoodle.  The pony in the purse was the clear winner, and she pretty much refused to let go of it for the rest of the day (and she slept with it last night). 

Maddie shows off her pony in a purse.

 Officer Todd was friendly and patient with the kids, even when Elias tried to go into one-up mode, and the kids had a wonderful time.  I do hope they understand that this trip is going to help make up for the rather meager amount of presents that will be under the tree this year.    I’m deeply grateful to my friends for making this happen. 

My Favorite Charities

No matter where we stand, we should continue to help others.
Image by David Castillo Dominici

I’ve read my share of “manage your money” books.  And one of the major tenants of any program involves giving to those in need.  I believe in this completely.  Even when I am not in a position to donate money, I still make the effort to donate time. 

For example, I am currently donating my time and editing talent to DailySource.org.  This nonprofit provides an unbiased collection of news from different sources, providing a brief summary and a link to the source.  The site strives to stay free of left/right politics, and I respect that.  Additionally, it has been a fantastic place to hone my skills, and I have learned a lot about website editing and AP style. 

With the holiday season here, many people are in a very giving mood.  Before spending money on more stuff that you don’t need, consider making a donation to a charity that is actively working to make lives better.

Gavin and I support several charities.  Some of our favorites include:

• American Cancer Society – Not just about finding a cure, ACS works to help patients affected by cancer and their families.
•  Autism Speaks – I have participated in the walking event, raising money for this organization.  Autism has deeply touched our family, and this charity is working to find solutions.
• Boy Scouts of America – Elias is a Scout and it has done wonders for him. 
• Child’s Play – This charity was founded by gamers.  The goal is to make gaming systems available to kids I hospitals so they have something fun to do to take their minds off treatment.
• Humane Society – We got our Minerva from the Humane Society.  Before buying a pet from a pet store, check here to see if you can give one of these wonderful animals a home.
• Make-A-Wish – I think everyone knows this charity and its goal.  Make-A-Wish does phenomenal work.
• Northwest Harvest – A local charity that helps put food on the tables of people who need some extra help.  We have been fortunate enough to not have to use this service ourselves, so we will continue to donate food to this program.
• Northwest Hope and Healing – I did a 5K for this charity.  They work to provide help to women undergoing treatment for breast cancer, from providing financial support during the times they can’t work and even helping with child care during chemotherapy.
• World Vision – I am hoping to participate in child sponsorship one day, although I have supported this program financially.  I know people who have sponsored through this charity and they were very happy with it. I think this would be good for teaching Elias more about the world, as well.

Catching up on the Financial Peace Planner: Stuffitis

The problem with wanting the best
Image by Danilo Rizzuti

Have I been procrastinating on keeping up with the Planner program?  You bet I have.  One of the goals of this blog is to make myself accountable and practice building good habits.  But it’s so darn easy to fall back into the old habits.  Procrastinating, pretending my bills don’t exist, putting off the hard work.  It’s a lot easier to write fun blog posts about chicken recipes and try out new and cheaper ways of doing things than it is to face up to the major problems. 

Major Problem Number One:  According to the Planner, I have “stuffitis.”  I try not to.  But I do.  Apparently if you check more than one statement in the little quiz, you have it.  I checked two, so it’s only a slight case and, most likely, curable.  Gavin has this condition far worse than I do.  That’s not me placing blame; he’s totally upfront about it. 

Here’s the statements I checked:

1.  “It’s not unusual for me to say ‘It’s only a few dollars extra’ when I’m shopping for something I want.”
2.  “So I spent $100 on a pair of running shoes.  The top of the line lasts longer.”

I can sit here and try to justify those responses (and believe me, I can justify damn near anything), but I’m not going to.  I’m going to accept that this is a problem.  It does no good to catch a great deal on chicken if I go out and blow $40 on a dinner out because I didn’t feel like cooking.  I have several bills piled up on my desk that I could be putting that $40 towards, and there’s really no excuse. 

I do like to have nice things.  When I can get nice things at a lower price, it can sometimes be seen as a justification to purchase something I don’t really need.  This time of year is especially difficult.  I don’t just like to have nice things, I like to give nice things.  It’s fun to have someone unwrap something you got them and see a big smile on their face because it’s just what they wanted. 

If you look around our place, you might say “How can these people be in financial trouble?”  We have two desktop PCs, our son has a laptop, we have a flat-screen TV, an Xbox, a Wii… and that’s just the living room.  Well, the PCs have been mostly cobbled together (it’s nice to have a hubby who knows his way around a computer), the laptop was purchased several years ago and is no longer of much use other than as a word processor, the Wii was purchased as a family Christmas gift quite some time ago, and the Xbox and the flat-screen were both donations from people who had more than one. 

So why don’t we just sell these items and pay off the darn bills?  Well, I work online, and Gavin sometimes has to communicate online with his job, and we both really like our games.  So, come to think of it, I actually meet one more of the criteria for “stuffitis”:  “I can’t get rid of my boat/truck/Andy Warhol print.  That would leave a huge hole in my life.”  Just substitute TV/computer/Xbox for the other items.

I’ll keep working through Chapter 2.  This is usually the point where most debt plans make you actually pull out all your bills and figure out your debt.  I have to confess:  I’m pretty scared of that part.

Saving Money on Holiday Shopping, or Is It Really That Time of Year Again???

Making my list and checking it twice.
Image by Sicha Pongjivanich

Holiday shopping.  I don’t know about you, but those words strike fear into my heart.  We can barely make the bills as it is, and now we have to fit even more into our overstretched budget?  While I would love to say “The heck with it!  Everyone is just getting homemade gifts this year!”  the reality is that that option would never fly.

I have an 11-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl.  They aren’t going to be happy with handmade doodads or coupons for hugs.  The older one has already amassed his list for the year and, as usual, it’s pretty heavy on the electronics.  The younger one isn’t quite as picky, but she still knows her mind and knows what she likes.

Here’s the good news though.  There’s still ways to keep from taking such a heavy hit.  Here’s some of the strategies we’re going to be using this year to keep from getting evicted the day after Christmas:

1. Starting early.  Since summer we’ve had our eyes open for gifts for the kids.  We started talking about it with the family a while ago too, so they know what to look for.  I’ve already picked up a game for the oldest that was part of a buy two get one free deal, and I have a Hello Kitty playset stashed in the closet for my daughter.
2. Buy used.  The kids couldn’t care less.  Fortunately, most of my family who I am buying for doesn’t either (or if they do, they don’t say anything because they know we have a limited budget).  Places like Gamestop and Half-Price Books are great if video games and books are on your list.  Used clothing from a quality consignment shop can go a long way (my daughter will be getting clothes from here). 
3. Shop online.  While this might initially seem more expensive since you have to pay shipping, it actually saves us quite a bit.  We can comparison shop and get good deals, and Amazon usually suggests used options for cheaper that can still be purchased through their site.  Plus, if you are doing most of your shopping at once, shipping is likely to be waived.  For me, the best part of shopping online is that I know exactly what I want to buy and I’m not swayed to buy more when I see the stuff on the shelves.
4.  Pick little items up here and there.  For the next few shopping trips between now and Christmas, we’ll be picking up small items and stocking stuffers on our regular grocery runs.  Some great inexpensive stocking stuffers that kids love include coloring books, crayons, and candies.  My daughter loves to have her nails painted so I’m going to stick a couple of inexpensive nail polishes in her stocking.
5. Know when to say when.  It’s easy to get caught up in the spirit of the season.  Everyone has all sorts of neat knick-knacks out and goofy little doodads, and I already catch myself seeing random items and saying “Oh, that would be perfect for so-and-so!”  But once the shopping is done, it’s DONE.  Don’t let yourself get caught up in the whole “Just one more” game.  Retailers are counting on this and you will quickly blow your budget.

Make a plan, make a budget, and stick to it.  We’ll get through this, I swear!